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Devon
14 September 2008 @ 09:46 am
Im still here  
 So I have been soo busy... I havent had just a little bit of time to sit down and write.. I really dont have the time now.. Gracie is fussin.. But this past tuesday I had My hernia removed.. so I had surgery and I couldnt do anything.. Brant finally had to do my job for a change and he said "I dont know how you do it!, I have a alot more respect for you and I wouldnt tade my job for this" So Im glad he got to see how my life is everyday and night! But he had to take care of me and this kids for three days and he did soo good... But that was just a little bit of what  I can write so just lettin everyone know Im still here..
 
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Devon
29 August 2008 @ 02:56 pm
Started Gracie On Formula  
So.. The night before last I started Gracie on Formula.. I more or  less wanted to see how many ounces she was eatting and I just didnt think she was getting enough to eat from my breast.. also I would have to feed her in the car when I would go out places and all of that was just to much.. I somewhat regret doing it but it has been a lot easier.. also Garrison hasnt been soo jelous because I would let him help hold her bottle.. But I will say I went through the worst pain yesterday.. my boobs were hurting soo bad that I felt like I just had surgery done on them or something... I called my doctor to find out how to help the engorgement and like five people told me to use cabbage leaves.. so I did last night and all day today and I cant believe how much cabbage leaves work!   My boobs hurt just a little bit but not as much as yesterday.. I dont know why it works but theres supposedly something in the cabbage that helps dry up the milk and relieve the pain.. I never would have thought putting cabbage leaves in my bra would cure the pain or engorgement...  But gracie is doing very well with the bottle.. I only wake up once or so through the night which I only did that when I breastfed but she's taking it well.. her poop of course is different and I perfer the yellow poop... But I have to go pick up brant and get my house clean.. My sisters and my neice and nephew are comeing tomorrow to stay the weekend with me..  cant wait.. Ill tell you all about it after the weekend..

Happy Labor Day!
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Devon
26 August 2008 @ 10:41 pm
PISSED OFF  
I hate my hubby! Sometimes I  just want to knee him in the balls... Theres reasons why I want to and some people know from past entries why and tonight is the night I want to do it the most... I just cant stand him and its sad to say but I dont love him like I use to.. I want whats best for my kids and one day Im going to leave him and do everything I can on my own.. people wonder why I havent left him already and reasons are.. I have no where and I mean no where to go.. you would think I have family to go to but No .. No one in my family has room for me and two kids... Im also broke.. I have absolutely no money to my name.. Brants the one who works and makes all the money and then spends it on shit that he shouldnt spend it on.. Im furious because I have to turn to his dad for money because I dont have money to buy my kids diapers.. Im tired of having to get money from his dad! I want to do this on my own but HOW?! If I dont have a place to live and no money to rent a place or whatever then how do I do it on my own.. Im stuck with  this guy whom I call the father of my kids and he's nothing but a  peice of shit! He bugs the shit out of me until I literally want to just kill myself.. which I will never do but he bugs me soo much that I wish I were dead so I wouldnt have to put up with his crap... I have good days and bad days and today was a bad day! but I just needed to let out my angry   



Okay so Im responding to all the comments I have received.. I have taken everyones comment into consideration..  I already have WIC and Foodstamps so Im always good on food.. but how do I get the housing and daycare help? We have some program here called Family Independence and I even tried to sign up for that and they told me in order to receive that I had to file for child support... so i take it that is what I should do...  but doesnt it cost money to file for child support? I mean dont I have to go to court or something..  Maybe if I tell my family about everything they will help and do it all with me.. It is truely a burden for me to stay with any family member because they would have to practically support me and my kids until I was able to get money for my self and everyone in my family is already struggling themselve.. but thanks for everyones support and advice
 
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Devon
25 August 2008 @ 09:10 pm
sick babies  
so.. Garrison and Grace are both sick... they both have colds and ofcourse Garrison got Grace sick so it really sucks... Brant also has a fractured arm and has to wear a brace on his arm so he can still work.. they would have put a cast on it but he said he couldnt miss any work.. Everything is just fallin apart... Grace wont sleep because she's sick and so Im going to be up all night with her :(   My poor babies! 

So moving on.. I went and saw a surgeon today about my umblical urnia.. I dont know if you guys remember me telling you all about it when I was prego. but I have to have surgery to fix it.. Im having the surgery Sept. 9th.. Im nervous but its for the best.. I have to pump some and freeze it for when I have the surgery because of the pain meds Ill be givin.. also Ill be put under and Grace will need to eat while Im in the hospital.. its an outpatient surgery some Im hoping Ill only be in there for like four hrs... it only takes thirty minutes or so to do the surgery but I have to stay in the hospital for the anestia to wear off.. its soo stressful tho. because Brants going to have to stay home with the kids and someone else is going to have to take me to the hospital and stay with me until the procedure is done.. so it sucks because two people are going to miss work because of surgery I have to get done... 

But grace is cryin so Imma go..
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Devon
23 August 2008 @ 11:47 am
bored  
SO Im having trouble getting Garrison to take a nap..  He would get out of his bed and grab toys in his room and play with them.. I have taken all his toys out of his room but he seems to still be getting up and finding something to entertain himself.. I have had to go in his room soo many times and tell him to lay down and go to sleep.. I need him to take a nap because I have to leave here by 2:30 to go get Brant and when Garrison doesnt have a nap he is not a happy camper... I really dont want to deal with the whineing and fussiness.. So Im hoping he goes to sleep by 12.. 

But Im bored.. I dont have any cable right now and the only channels I get are the Baby channel, Biography channel, and The green channel... So I have watched the Green Channel and Bio channel everyday all day since we lost our cable service... We waiting on the new service from our provider but it wont be available for another two weeks.. Im tryin to find T.V. shows to watch online but the ones I want to see arent anywhere to be found.. I got to watch Army Wives and I guess thats all I care about seeing.. so I have had to download games to play online.. I have cleaned my house fifity times or so just to give me something to do.. When Grace sleeps and Garrison sleeps theres nothing to really do.. I could sleep but I just feel like once I fall asleep one of them will wake up and I'll just be Groggy..  My kitchen is actually a mess tho. I have tried to clean it but we have all the stuff that goes into our drawers ontop of the counters and I have placed it neatly the best I can..  We also just ran out of trash bags so I feel like all the trash is going to pile up if we dont get some fast.. 

But back to the Garrison issue with his nap.. What do you do when he just wont take a nap and he gets out of bed and doesnt listen to me? I realize his probably not tired but he takes a nap the same time everyday and sometimes he doesn fine and sometimes he doesnt.. Lately he just hasnt listened to me.. even when I discipline him it just doesnt work.. I have tried everything there is to disciplining him and nothing seems to be working.. I have tried timeout in a chair or in his room and I have spanked him on the leg and I have taken things from him that he enjoys playing with and well I dont know what else there is to do.. I wish he would listen to me and stop doing the opposite of everything I tell him to do... I understand that it will get better and that its probably a jelousy issue but this mess has got to stop.. It is wearing me out and I dont know how much longer I can take of this bad behaviior.. They say dont let your kids be in charge of you but Im starting to think that he thinks he is in charge of me.. I cant let that happen.. I dont know what everyones views are on displining their child but mine is just bad.. I wonder if anyone else child is as bad as mine because I know that when I do see people with their kids the same age as Garrison then I see well behaved kids and kids who know how to act when they go to public places... How do they get their kids to act that way? Maybe its because Im a SAHM and he probably needs to get around other kids his age to see how they act.. but Garrison has gone around kids his age or older and when those kids act out and misbehave he sees that and acts the same way.. My neice and Nephew arent the best kids and one time my nephew had a screaming fit and he's nine yrs old and so Garrison saw that and now he screams when he gets mad and its just aweful.. So if anyone has any tips on how to discipline their child or to even make them understand whats right and wrong then please let me know.. 

Im going to go find something to do.. Garrison ofcourse is still not asleep.. I guess I should just hope that he gets tired and falls asleep..  I feel he is just staying awake and doing all these things because I dont want him to do it.. so any advice would be great THANKS!
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Devon
22 August 2008 @ 08:16 am
Best Night Ever W/ a NEWBORN  

SO Gracie went to sleep at about 10 maybe 10:30 11 and did not wake up to eat until 8 AM! She slept through the entire night.. I got up at like 530 and then again at 630 and again at 7 and I kept checkin on her but she was fast asleep.. my boobs ofcourse were full and hurt but I wasnt going to wake her because she would let me know when she's hungry or needs a diaper change.. she'll usually fuss when she has a stinky but she didnt stinky all night.. which Im not surprised because she pooped alot all day.. so she is going on 5 weeks old and she slept through the night..When Garrison was 5 weeks old he started sleeping through the night too.. but he was bottle fed at five weeks because I was in the hospital with a kidney infection.. But Im soo glad because I got a whole night of sleep.. Well now Garrison is awake so Imma get off here and tend to him..

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Devon
21 August 2008 @ 05:48 am
5:50 AM  
So I just got done feeding Gracie and I thought I would write a little since its the only time I really can.. 

So does anyone watch Army Wives? Its my FAVORITE show and I never miss it.. Its my own little Soap Opera.. I dont watch Soap Operas like Days of our Lives so when shows like Army Wives come out then I tend to watch them and make them my new show..
Brant has gotten all the cabinet fronts done in our kitchen.. we went with a beige color and I cant wait for him to be done.. Its going to look soo good.. We have to go with a darker counter top because what we have now is just ugly and it doesnt look right with the cabinet color.. When he's done with the cabinets he plans to do the counter tops and then eventually tile our floor.. This house was built back in the early 50's late 40's so hopefully you can imagine how it would look.. 
 Well crap I dunno what to say anymore.. but Im going to go back to bed and hope to get some sleep!
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Devon
19 August 2008 @ 01:22 pm
Redecorating/remodeling  
So Im trying to get my house into tip top shape because my family is coming to stay with me for labor day weekend.. Brant and I thought we would do one room a day.. Today he wants to do the kitchen.. We have planned on doing this for a long time but just never got around to it.. a while back we bought new hinges and handles for the cabinets and also so paint to paint them.. the paint we bought didnt turn out how we wanted it to so since then we quit workin on the kitchen.. Well we are going to Lowes to buy the right kind of paint for the cabinets and some gloss stuff for our wood paneled walls.. We plan on laying tile in our kitchen and dining room but not today.. The house we live in is sooo old that we are trying to modernize it.. It use to be Brants Grannys house.. when she died she left it to Brant and we have been here for three yrs.. so now we're ready for change and just to make the place look nice.. we have already done our living room by laying new carpet and painting the walls.. we got better furniture and new curtains.. so now its kitchen time.. 

I just felt I should post something since it has been a whole day and a half since I posted last.. Im going to jump in the shower since both of my kids are asleep and hopefully they wont wake up while Im in the shower.. I have to pick Brant up at 3:30 and nows the time to start getting ready.. I have to give Grace a bath and I just hate gettin ready to go somewhere.. it takes me I swear two hrs just to get me and the kids ready and loaded up into the car.. but I should get started..
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Devon
18 August 2008 @ 02:22 am
ANGRY  

I just got done feeding Gracie and I went to the bathroom and well I just started my freakin period.. Im bleeding heavily and I just know its my period.. Im cramping and UGH! Its been so long since Ive had a period that its just makes me mad that I have to go back to that.. I hate the fact that I cant wear a tampon.. before when I was bleeding just a little bit then I didnt mind the pads but now Im bleeding a lot and pads are just not what I want to wear.. they are so messy and I feel dirty all the time.. Its been four weeks since I had Grace so I guess I should be starting it now.. atleast I hope so.. but I just needed to vent!

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Devon
17 August 2008 @ 03:16 pm
MOTHER IN LAW  
So when the mother in law came.. she ofcourse found anything and everything to pick about.. she picked up all the sticks in our yard and swept off our porch and did things that we do but we just havent done it today.. I mean she came in and did all kinds of things that we didnt want her to do and it just pisses me off.. and now ofcourse Im having trouble with Brant because well we just cant get along so Im leaving tonight to go stay with his dad.. Im just soo exhausted and I dont want to be around him when Im not liking him right now.. also my kids dont need to be around it so Im going to take my kids elsewhere.. ofcourse he is begging me not to go but Ive had it with his shit and I just cant be around him when he acts the way he does..  I cant sleep at night when we're mad at each other because Im just stressin and thinking about all these things and I need my sleep.. so when Im not around him then I sleep better... I mean I have told him that I was leaving and I have packed my car and I was about to walk out the door but I just hate having to leave my own house because of our problems.. I mean should I leave.. or should I just stay and deal with it...  I just hate the way my life goes sometimes and I just want us to be normal and be like a family should be and we're not... I hate crying and I mean we're not even married so should I or shouldnt I go... I mean he says things are going to get better but Ive heard it before.. I left two nights ago because of the same shit and he said the same thing then but nothing has changed... so should I stick to my words and leave because I have already said I was going to or should I stay?.. my kids dont deserve to be taken out of their house because of our problems but they also dont deserve to be put through it as well..  My sons actually taking a nap right now and I plan on leaveing when he wakes up.. but should I leave? Things have calmed down but all I ever do is threaten him that Im going to leave and I never do.. I left the other night and came back and that didnt change nothing except for that day.. he just has problems and I dont want to be involved anymore..

But also.. I dont know if anyone else watches Nascar Racing but my cable is down so I was wanting to watch it on my computer somehow without having to pay for it.. theres this thing called RACEBUDDY and its free but I just dont know how to get it onto my computer.. does anyone know what Im talking about and can anyone help me out before the race is over.. thanks for all your help and advice...
 
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Devon
16 August 2008 @ 11:00 pm
about my day  

So Not alot went on today.. I went to my sister in laws and we just hung out by the pool.. I tried the whole tampon thing that I mentioned in an earlier post and well it didnt quite work out soo well... I went to put the tampon in and it was like the thing wouldnt go in right.. it was almost like something was blocking it from going up.. so I kinda forced it up because I didnt bring any pads only because I thought it would work and not be  a problem.. I kept it in but it was hurting me and it was feeling like it was hanging out so I would try to push it further up and that only made it worse.. it was like it would slide down everytime I would walk.. and when I would sit down it would hurt and I would have to get in a weird position just so it wouldnt hurt.. I probably should have taken it out right away but I didnt want to bleed all over the place.. and since no one wears pads anymore my sister in law didnt have any.. The pain wasnt as bad as it seems but as soon as I got home I took the thing out and immediately put on a pad.. now Im sore down there and it hurts to pee.. I think that I may still be swollen from giving birth and Im still not healed.. but I worry that maybe something is wrong and I may never be able to wear a tampon again.. and Im not going to like that too much because pads are just not my thing.. Im spending money to buy them left and right because I have to change the damn things everytime I go to the bathroom..  Now all of this may have been to much information but I thought I should tell how the whole tampon thing went... 

But tomorrow Brants mom and daughter are coming over to eat lunch and to see our house since we got some things done and Im stressin about it... Brants mom is this high maintenance neat freak and so I feel that my house has to be in tip top shape and as of right now ITS NOT!... they will be here by like 1230 and so  I will have to start cleaning by 7 in the morning.. so Im going to try and get some sleep since I wont be able to sleep at all tomorrow.. I hope everyone has a good night..

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Devon
15 August 2008 @ 02:08 pm
Spoke to soon  
SO I had already wrote this long paragraph and then Garrison came over and started clicking the mouse and so I lost the paragraph.. now I have to re-write it .. and this is why I dont get on the computer during the day...

SO.. what I was saying was that I spoke to soon about Garrison and his toddler bed... I laid him down for a nap today and I figured since he was going down for a nap and Gracie was asleep that I should try to get a nap in as well.. I heard Garrison screaming MOMMY but I ignored him because he usually goes to sleep...  So after a while I didnt hear anything and I figured he had dozed off to sleep.. Just as I was about to fall asleep I hear little footsteps running down our hallway and he comes into the living room and has a smile on his face from ear to ear... I laughed for a second and was just amazed that he figured out how to open his door... so I let him play for a little bit hoping he would tire out and then I told him that I was putting him back in his bed and that he better not get out.. I laid him back down and once again I heard MOMMY MOMMY.. I ignored him and then hear knocking on his door from the inside of his room.. I then yelled "Garrison get back into you bed NOW" and he ran to his bed and cried but then went to sleep..  so it wasnt too bad.. So I never took a nap because Gracie ended up waking up for a feeding.. When I finally got her back to sleep I tried to get a shower in before Garrison woke up.. I was in the shower and I heard Garrison Call out MOMMY.. I tried to hurry and wash up.. then ofcourse the little rascal gets out of his room and comes into the bathroom.. its kinda funny... He shows up in the bathroom with no diaper on.. we are also in the process of potty training... but I asked him if he wanted to get in the shower with me and so he did.. he was kinda scared and I couldnt help but laugh... I was all done washing but I thought I would get him use to the shower and not be soo scared.. he wanted me to hold him so I did and after a little while he wasnt soo scared anymore.. 

What a day.. LOL.. he strives for my attention so Im even more exhausted by the end of the day.. he has actually been very good today and hasnt stressed me out.. I started back on anxiety meds that are safe for breastfeeding and well I have ran out of them and cant get them filled until the end of the month.. some of the pills have gone missing and so that is why Im out of them so soon... 

Well I better get off here and tend to my kids.. I have to pick Brant up at 5 and then we are going to go buy Gracie a bathing suit because this weekend we're going swimming as we do every weekend.. It will be Gracies first time in the water.. But I do have a question.. I know that I have to wait six weeks to heal before having sex and wearing a tampon but if I feel that Im healed then do you think it would be okay to atleast wear a tampon? Im sick of wearing pads and having to buy pads everytime I turn around.. Im really just sick of bleeding.. but I want to go swimming myself this weekend and I wont be able to if I still wear pads.. Im not bleeding heavy or that much at all so I could either risk wearing a tampon or go swimming and hope I wont bleed out while swimming.. they say that when your in water that your bleeding stops but I wonder about this bleeding since Im bleeding because of having a baby.. does anyone have any advice on the matter?

Im getting off now and I hope someone could help me out with the whole tampon matter...

Well something just popped in my head... I wanted to get Gracies ears peirced and someone I know got her little girls ears peirced at six weeks.. I want to do the same but I thought I should also hear what other people think.. so thats something else I would like to know about...

Thanks for your help 
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Devon
15 August 2008 @ 04:00 am
feeding  
so the last time Gracie ate was at like 10pm and she has just woken up at about 330am for her feeding.. I love when she doesnt wake up for  6hrs to eat..  when she started doing that I was worried she wasnt getting enough to eat but when they weighed her at the doctor then I knew she was getting plenty to eat.. she was born 6lbs 14 oz and left the hospital at 6lbs 8 ozs but after a week she was 6lbs 15ozs and then at two and half weeks she was 7lbs 14ozs.. so she is growing like a weed.. Im sure she weighs more now since she is now three and half weeks.. also when she goes that long without eating my boobs are so full that she is able to fill up and go right back to sleep instead of staying up for hrs after.. but this was my entry of when Gracies wakes up to feed so Im going to go back to bed.. 
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Devon
14 August 2008 @ 10:23 pm
catching up  
well its about 1025pm and I finally have gotten Gracie to sleep..  I should probably go to sleep as well but during the day I just have no time to write in my journal so Im doing it now...

I thought I would start out by saying that Garrison my little two yr old is now sleeping in a toddler bed... we had no problems at all.. we brought it home and when it wasnt even time for bed he wanted to lay in it.. so right then and there I knew it would be a peice of cake to get him to sleep in it at night only because he was soo excited about it.. I thought that my biggest problem would be that since he could get out of it unlike a crib that he would get out of it all the time.. but NOPE.. he doesnt even get out of it when he wakes up in the mornings.. he still yells for MOMMY when he's ready to get up... Im just soo proud of him.. I will have to say that the first night he slept in it that he fell out of it twice so I thought it was going to be a problem then but he's been in it for almost a week now and he's doing soo good.. He'll actually be two in a little less than a month and I cant wait for his little b-day party.. Im thinking of getting him a powerwheel and I think he'll love it..

Having Gracie here has been hard but wonderful.. she's such a blessing.. knowing now that I have a boy and a girl is just wonderful and to be able to raise them at such a young age is just what I wanted.. Im actually done having kids tho. I want thosands more but I wouldnt be able to afford them.. also my husband is getting a Vesectomy so Im screwed on that matter.. 

Now I thought I would tell you all about my laboring expeirence.. I had Gracie in two in a half hrs and only pushed for 16 min. which is awesome compared to my labor with Garrison.. I live thirty minutes away from the hospital and I headed to the hospital only when my contractions were ten minutes apart.. I had been feeling uncomfortable all day and I could tell I was having contractions but they really werent painful at all.. but when I got about two very painful contractions I just knew it was time and we should get going... When I got to labor and delivery I was dialated 5cm already.. and while waiting to be admitted I dialated another cm so I was 6cm before even entering the delivery room.. I was in lots of pain.. I just know that I kept telling them to give me the epidural and that I had to have it.. I had to answer all these questions and sign papers while having contractions two mintues apart and I was just worried I wasnt going to get my epidural.. They told me that when I get to 8cm that I couldnt get an epidural and sure enough I got to 8cm before the guy that does the epidural came in.. I told them that I need something for pain.. so they gave me pain meds through my IV and that only made me out of it but it didnt help the pain.. I was also more worried about having a big baby and I didnt want to feel her come out of me down there because I worried about tearing and if they were going to have to cut me and I just did not want to feel that... so when I was 9cm they were able to give me a SPINAL which just numbed my legs and the doctor also put numbing cream on my vagina.. so I was satisfied with that... I could still feel the contractions which were just aweful... I was having to push when they were giving me the spinal and I remember just pushing when they told me not to.. but I just couldnt help it.. so my cervix swelled up and I had to deal with that later... but when I was finally ten cm. I pushed little Gracie out and was just glad it was over and my little girl was here...  the whole getting the placenta out hurt like a biotch... part of my placenta got closed inside my uterus and they had to stick their entire arm and hand up in me just to get it out and I cried because that hurt soo bad... but ofcourse I would do it all over again just to feel that joy and happiness again.. Grace didnt have any problems at all.. Garrison swallowed some fluids when he was born so I got to see him for a total of five seconds after he was born and I didnt even get to hold him.. he spent the entire hospital visit in the nursery and I had to go to the nursery to feed him... but with Gracie I got to hold her right away and keep her with me the whole time I was in the hospital.. But Im actually glad I didnt get an epidural because I felt aweful when I got it with my son and I passed out and threw up and just all around it was bad.. but after having Gracie I was ready to run laps on the track.. I didnt tear so I healed faster and I was able to get out of bed the next day.. awe... but what a gift from GOD!  

So I told my story and I should probably get in the bed now.. I have soo much more to catch up on but this is all I can write for now.. Love you all and I will probably write some when I get up at about one or two in the morning for Gracie's feeding...
Nite NIte
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Devon
14 August 2008 @ 07:56 am
FRUSTRATED  

okay so Im not exactly up at 8am just to write on here but Im up because Gracie has not been able to go back to sleep since 5am!... she does this every now and then.. sometimes shell go right back to sleep after she eats but sometimes she just stays wide awake and everytime you try and lay her down she starts fussin.. I let her fuss hopin that she'll stop but then she wails! She actually has some gas on her stomache so I have to constantly pat her back so that she'll get all the burps out.. she has finally laid back down and Im going to do the same before my two yr old wakes up.. I just get frustrated when its soo early in the morning.. when its like 2 in the morning and she decides she wants to stay awake till about three and then go back to sleep then Im okay with that... she is on a good schedule.. I breastfeed so she eats about every three hrs but at night when she sleeps its every four hrs.. OH GREAT.. well my two yr old has woken up and I wonder why because he usually gets up at 1030am... its days like this when you have everything in the world to do but you get no sleep.. my husband has left for work already and well he doesnt get up in the night at all to help me.. only because I breastfeed and well he has to get up for work in the mornings... but sometimes when gracie decides she wants to stay up and not go back to sleep, I just wish he would say.. "Ill stay up with her and get her back to sleep, you get some rest" but noo that'll never happen.. he didnt even offer with my son.. but he didnt stay up for hrs in the night either... well I have let it out and I probably will later on.. but Imma get my son up and do all the things I do every morning..

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Devon
14 August 2008 @ 02:38 am
Hi All  
Okay so I hope no one is angry with me.. My internet got messed up for about a month.. my son spilled juice on my DSL modem so it ofcourse quit working.. I just now was able to receive a new one so IM BACK!... I had my beautiful baby girl and Ill post a pic... I had her on July 20 and she weighed in at 6lbs 14ozs and was 19.25 inches long.. Her name is Grace Victoria and she is the best baby I could possibly have.. I so would love to write more but its 240 in the AM and I just got up for a feeding... but here is a lovely pic of little Gracie and I hope to hear from you all soon.. I have sooo much to tell so look out for me tomorrow!

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These are just a few pics but Ill do more tomorrow!
Love you all
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Devon
24 May 2008 @ 09:43 pm
still not that great  
So.. my day really has not gone well at all.. see I complained about the kids earlier and I had said something to my FIL and he goes and calls my SIL and told her that I said her son was being bad and that she needed to call me and find out what he was doing which none of that was the case! I got soo mad because he did that.. but when my SIL called I told her that her son was just instigating things such as laughing at something garrison was doing that he shouldnt do which causes Garrison to continue doing it just to make my nephew laugh even after I tell him to stop..  so since I called her son an instigator she got kinda angry.. I strongly explained to her that he wasnt being that bad at all just that I was frustrated because I couldnt get garrison to listen.. she was upset that I called her son and instigator.. was that the wrong thing to tell someone about their child? I mean I know that all parents dont think their kids are as bad as what people say but I mean last night her son pulled the bean bag out from under Garrison when he was trying to jump on it and it caused Garrison to bust his lip.. I mean boys will be boys but I wasnt calling her son a name in a bad way and I guess she took it that way.. I didnt know she was upset with me until I picked Brant up from work.. he told me that she didnt like that I called her son an instigator and well I told Brant that I talked to her after that happend and she didnt sound upset with me and that I told her that my Hormones were just to the roof and that I have been crying off and on and that today wasnt a good day.. she understood and she didnt at all tell me that she didnt like that I called her son an instigator.. I dunno what Im getting at but I got upset today because she was upset with me...

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Current Mood: chipper
 
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Devon
24 May 2008 @ 12:09 pm
FRUSTRATED  

Okay so I dont have any patience today! Im going to the beach tomorrow and I have soo much to do.. I was left at home today with my 20 month old son and a five yr old and they are driving me nuts.. its like they both just dont want to listen today!  My house is now destroyed because well we all know how kids are and so I have to clean and pack and just do everything today and I tried to avoid that.. I just feel so stressed and ready to BLOW! I hate feeling this way I HATE IT I HATE IT! I wish there was some kind of chill pill I could take because I dont want to have to take out all this anger on someone who doesnt deserve it and I have a feeling that thats going to happen.. 

We got a kitty cat for Garrison and he absolutely loves it but the way he is with the cat scares me.. he carries it around like a rag doll and I mean we try to keep the cat away from him when he gets in that mood where he wants to pick up the cat and put it on his car and drive it around... He calls him "MEOW" except he doesnt pronounce it that way.. he say "MOW" its cute so we call him "MOW"  I dunno..

OKay so Im going crazy right now and Im about to I dunno.. I have to leave.. I need to get the kids out of the house but Im so exhausted with all the things I have been doing this morning.. Im sorry to vent but Im sure Ill be on later tonight to tell you more about my day!

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Current Mood: angry
 
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Devon
21 May 2008 @ 09:41 am
HORMONES  

I hate the fact that my Hormones are to the roof! I just feel like everything is going wrong in my life.. I have such high anxiety and I cant stand it!.. Yesterday my anxiety was aweful and I dont know why... I mean I freaked and cried over stupid crap.. I was upset because well I decided to put some red juice in Garrisons sippy cup and I just knew it was going to be a problem but I did it anyway.. and well the darn juice cup leaked a little and got on the carpet in my car and also all over Garrison white T-shirt! I was so upset because he ruined his shirt.. I also had to clean up the red spots in the car because its new to us and I wasnt going to have this car ruined like that last one we had... so I was soo upset over that.. I was also upset because well crap I dont even know why but I just know that my day was not going so well.. OH wait now I know.. it was because I had to get some medicine at the drug store for my back pain and I couldnt find my insurance card and I was so angry because I felt like if I didnt have it then I would have to pay full price for the medicine and I couldnt afford that.. but when we got to the pharmacist, it had showed up in the computer that I had insurance and so I didnt have to pay anything but three dollars... and well with Garrisons shirt Im sure I can find something to take out the stains before I wash it.. so I freak out for no reason...

Well.. then me and Brant had already talked about gettin our cable switched from Charter to Dish Network because well CHarter sucks in this area and so we paid our bill for charter and had a set date to get it cut off so we could get Dish Network.. We werent going to call DIsh Network until after we got back from the beach because I have to pay a $140 deposit and we just dont have to money to do that until we get back from the beach.. So when I wake up this morning our cable has been cut off.. I get soo mad because I dont want it to be cut off yet! I just feel like Garrison needs his Cartoons and well now all he can watch are kids movies and I get to watch nothing.. SO I called Brant and complained to him about the situation and just cried because I felt like our lives were falling apart.. but ofcourse its no big deal but yet I make it a big deal.. 

Brant kindly explained to me that we were going to go to the video store and get movies to watch and me a game to play in my Wii and that we would be okay without TV... He also told me that I wouldnt really be here today because I have a lot of running around to do before we go to the beach... 

Lets See... I have to go to a friends house for something and then to old navy to buy me some maternity bathing suits because I HAVE NONE.. and then I have to go pick up Brant from work and we are going to go to get our oil changed and some other things done with the car and then we have to go back to that friends house because brant needs to talk to him or something and then to the video store and then home.. I just hate have HECTIC days.. but before I even start doing all that Im making sure that Garrison gets his nap in for the day because there is no way I will survive the day if he doesnt have his nap... UGH!

I just cant stand even thinking about what I have to do before we go to the beach.. I cant stand thinking about what we have to do before the baby comes! and I cant stand thinking about what my lifes going to be like when the baby comes...  Im just full of emotions and I want it to all go away! 

Im hungry so Im going to eat something to satisfy my hunger.. sorry about the ranting and venting and what not.. thanks for listening

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Current Mood: hungry
 
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Devon
20 May 2008 @ 03:09 pm
Curious  
Okay so I havent even gotten my tax refund check yet.. I filed my taxes like the week before the 15th of April and I filed them through my dad.. he has the whole Turbo Tax thing and he says it takes about six weeks to get the check after you file your taxes.. is that true? I mean I thought it took maybe Two weeks or so.. I just dont see why I havent gotten my check yet.. and then at the end of June Im suppose to be getting my stimulus check and so Im just confused..  If I havent received my check yet then would that mean I was being AUDITED? I just dont know if I should have it by now or if I shouldnt get it until the end of this week.. could someone help me out and explain to me when I should get my check.. thanks soo much 
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